Fears & Fearlessness

Fearlessness

Fearlessness: quality of mind enabling one to face danger or hardship resolutely; quality of mind or spirit that faces or endures perils or difficulties. It is characterized by firmness and determination, as in temper, spirit, and actions in order to achieve one's purpose.

To be fearless is to face the reality of your situation without underestimating yourself or deluding yourself that you are more powerful than you really are. And then, at the same time, deciding who you want to be, so that you can stand firm for what you believe in most deeply and so that you can accept criticism (because it will come your way). Fearlessness is the ability to remain "true" to who you really are despite circumstances.

Perhaps the most famous quote on being fearless was made by Franklin D. Roosevelt in his first Inaugural Address in 1933:

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."

Steps to Achieving your Fearlessness

What's interesting is that most of our fears are simply thought habits that we've obtained and retained over the years. Initially, these habits protected us from something. But, even when we no longer need the protection, we still have the habit.

For example, let's look at my fear of meeting new people (not talking to strangers). I recognized when I was about 24 years old working as an analytical chemist in a laboratory for a pharmaceutical company that this fear was no longer supporting me. (Although it probably did support me when I was a toddler.)

I'd love to tell you that once I realized my fear, I just started meeting new people, but that wouldn't be true. Instead, I told myself that there isn't much opportunity to meet new people in my laboratory because I already knew those 3 people, even though there were 2,000 people that worked on my site. We had a company cafeteria and I would always get my food "to go" and eat it at my desk. Again, I told myself that there isn't much opportunity to meet people at my desk.

Ok, to me, that logic seemed very 'reasonable'. You, however, may recognize it as a cop-out or 'rationalization' so that I could avoid meeting new people. Whatever! Seriously, I did realize my fear and decided to take a new approach. I decided to talk to people I didn't know at work!  Innovative as that was, I also added a twist. Since my office was on the 5th floor, I decided that I was going to talk to people in elevators - the one place where people usually don't talk to each other. First of all, it increased the challenge. Secondly, if they didn't respond back to me, I could tell myself that people just don't talk to people in elevators. (Maybe there was another fear in there somewhere?)

The result? People weren't that scary any more. Most of the time they'd even said 'Hi' back to me. As I continued to practice, I continued to grow. This once sabotaging thought habit has now been replaced with a new supporting thought habit. As, Og Mandino says in Scroll 1 of The Greatest Salesman in the World, "I will form good habits and become their slave. And how will I accomplish this difficult feat? Through these scrolls, it will be done, for each scroll contains a principle which will drive a bad habit from my life and replace it with one which will bring me closer to success. For it is another of nature's laws that only a habit can subdue another habit." 

Now, I meet new people almost daily. I purposely attend networking events and give speeches to organizations so that I can meet, interact and build relationships with 'strangers'.

So, here are the steps you can take TODAY to begin to develop YOUR FEARLESSNESS!

1. Recognize and Acknowledge your fears. This starts with self-awareness. Now, many folks are afraid of self-awareness. They are afraid to see their own shortcomings. Somewhere they developed the thought habit that they had to be perfect. If you're one of these people, overcome that fear today!  Take a complimentary assessment and discover a bit more about your internal dialogue and your fears. If you're not one of these folks, then you'll love taking the assessment and learning more about yourself. (If you've taken this assessment in the past, DO IT again!)

2. Decide to improve. Once you are conscious and aware of your weaknesses, don't be afraid of them. Commit to take the steps necessary to improve any areas of weakness as well as  strengthen your strengths.

3. Plan to break free of the fears that hold you back. Want help in this area? Give me a call or email. You really can get to the root cause of your procrastination, your need to be right or in control, your frustration, guilt and stress. Usually it lies within your own mind, your own thought habits and internal dialogue.

4. Do it!! Begin a program that helps you improve, that holds you accountable for your thoughts and actions, that allows and encourages you to stretch grow, to make mistakes and to become the real, authentic, unique, irreplaceable YOU.

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January 24, 2008
PMI Clear Lake / Galveston
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Houston, TX

"Original material that I had never seen before. Relevant and useful to my profession."

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"Thanks for giving us new and fresh information. It is a new way to analyze (and attempt to understand) our thinking processes. Your presentation was practical and I will be passing this information onto my team and colleagues."

- G.N., Director
Houston, TX

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