Improving Your Reality

Your brain creates your reality. How much time do you spend thinking about  your brain? Do you ever pay attention to your brain? Today we're going to discuss your brain's role in perception and reality. We'll also see if you have A.N.T.s in your brain.

John Milton in Paradise Lost wrote, "The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven."

In life, it is not what happens to you that determines what you do or how you feel; it is how your mind perceives reality that makes it so.  So, how has your mind been making your reality?

Most people are unaware of how their thinking clouds their reality. They are unaware that they are not controlled by events or other people but by the perceptions their brains make of those events and people.

Take the stock markets across the world... some people are saddened, depressed and even angry over the falling stock prices. They see the value of their portfolios or 401k accounts dropping by 40% and react to their perception that the stock market is too risky so they pull their funds out of the market and put it in 'safer' investments (or under their mattress). Compare that to the people who saw the same drop of 40% in their investments and are excited. They are looking for cash to BUY more stocks because they view the current situation as a SALE... everything is 40% off!!

What's the difference?  "Reality" is still reality... the stock market is down. But, their brains see the same situation from different perspectives and they will obtain different results. Understand that the view your brain takes of a situation, event or person has more reality in it than the actual situation itself.

v Reality & Perception

Your perceptions bear witness to your state of mind and the state of your brain. What you see in life is based on your INNER view of the world formed by the neural connections of your mind.  As your brain functions, so you perceive.

Dr. Daniel Amen in his book, Making a Good Brain Great, talks about a formula that he writes out for his patients:

A + B = C

A = Actual Event

B = Brain's interpretation or perception of the event

C = Conclusion or how you react to the event

Most people think that the A things that happen to you determine your (C) behavior. Actually, it is the B part (your brain's interpretation or perception of the event) that largely determines how you respond.  You spend a lot of your time, energy and money trying to change A thinking that it will change C. Other people and events (A) cannot make you do anything. It is your brain's interpretation or perception (B) that causes your behavior (C).

You should seek not only to change your outside world by learning different tips and techniques to manipulate and influence, but also (and more importantly) seek to change your inside world or how your brain perceives situations.

Here's a key point: Just as your brain can distort reality, it can also improve it!!

v Changing Your Reality

Here are three steps to improving your reality (as taken, in part, from Dr. Amen's book):

1. DO NOT BELIEVE EVERY FIRST THOUGHT THAT YOUR BRAIN GIVES YOU.

It is incredibly easy to misunderstand or misinterpret a situation. How many times have you read an email and come to a conclusion only to find out your assumption wasn't what the other person meant. Every day I work with clients who are learning which of their thoughts are most likely to distort their reality.  The 6 Advisors assessment tool that measures your thought processes can pinpoint areas in your life that occur throughout your day where you are most likely to incorrectly perceive reality.

2. REALIZE THAT YOUR THOUGHTS ARE EXTRAORDINARILY POWERFUL...

...especially your systemic thoughts that can also trigger emotional and physiological responses. When you look at your 6 Advisors assessment, click on the Systems Thinking and Self-Direction tabs, do you see bars that are yellow, orange or even red?  If so, there is a good chance that you will not only THINK these thoughts but you will also FEEL them. You will feel as though your reality (based on your perceptions) is the only reality. If others respond differently than you, it is because they are not seeing things straight. You will actually feel emotional and physiological responses within you - like when someone cuts you off in traffic or doesn't meet your expectations.  The emotions and physiological responses associated with these thoughts often make them extraordinarily powerful.

3. RECOGNIZE THAT THOUGHTS LIE, ARE EASILY DISTORTED, AND CAN ROB YOU OF JOY.

Many people's brains are filled with A.N.T.s. Ok, not the little bug kind of ants, but Automatic Negative Thoughts. These ANTs can come in different shapes and sizes (just like the real ants). Let's look at some of the different species of ants and how they relate to your Automatic Negative Thoughts.

Picnic ANTs... These are just the little annoying ones that invade a picnic or other happy occasion. They start out small, maybe one or two in number, and then the army invades. Flying ANTs... These are always buzzing around and you just never know where they are going to land or show up. Bulldog ANTs... These are aggressive, vicious and exhibit powerful bites. Their nests may be inconspicuously hidden under a rock and can surprise you with an attack. Carpenter ANTs... These thoughts gnaw and eat at the structure in your 'home' or mind. They nest there and come out to scavenge for other foodstuffs (thoughts) throughout the day. Fire ANTs... These start out looking innocuous and then they bite you! Not only does it hurt when they bite you but they leave you with a bite that itches and stings for days. Bullet ANTs... Named on account of its powerful and potent sting, which is said to be as painful as being shot with a bullet. (Have you ever been hit with one of these thoughts?  Ouch!)

Your Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) can act or behave as each of these types of real ants.

How are your ANTs impacting your life? your spouse's life? your career? your spiritual life? your financial life? your children's lives? 

Understanding that they are simply thoughts produced by the neural pathways in your brain can help you to become more aware of their impact. That understanding can also give you hope because you can change those neural pathways and habits.

v Changing Your Brain

The latest breakthroughs in neuroscience have shown us that what the gurus told us in the past just doesn't work.  The compensation approach doesn't produce real, lasting changes.  You know this approach. It's where your FOCUS is on FIXING the bad habit. You are told to do things like...

• Think the opposite of an ANT (automatic negative thought)

• when you start to think negative...Think Positive

• Feel the pain and do it anyway

• Fake it till you make it

These approaches just don't work and here's why...

Imagine if you will that you have a bad habit, an ANT. (I know you don't have any, that's why I said 'imagine.' wink-wink).  So, let's say that you'd like to lose weight, e.g. you are going to FIX your weight problem. Now imagine that you used the compensation approach and when you think about, say, eating something unhealthy like potato chips, you train yourself and practice instead to immediately think about eating an apple.

We know that the brain will then make a neural connection between these two thoughts, eating potato chips and eating an apple. By continuing this practice, you will hardwire these two thoughts together. So, now, if I mention an apple, your brain will think also of potato chips. (Electricity doesn't discriminate and will flow in either direction along the wired connection.)

So, when you have a bad habit and you choose associate it with a good thought, you've actually started a little battle in your brain along your new neural connection. These two thoughts compete to see which will win to produce your action. (Do you sense this battle going on in your mind?)

This compensation approach takes a LOT of energy and discipline to make real, lasting changes. Yet, in stressful situations, where your brain doesn't have a lot of extra energy, your brain will choose the path of least resistance... which is your old bad habit.  Have you noticed this pattern in your life?

So, what does work? The Neuro-Axiological Approach!

Now, imagine that you still have that bad habit of eating potato chips. Separate from that thought, you identify a change that you would like to make in your life like eating more apples. This new good thought must have real value to you (for instance, eating apples will make you healthier and your health is valuable to you).

If that thought is also based in your natural strength (a balanced thought process) like valuing your physical health or valuing the ones you love and living a long life for them, you can naturally rely on the good thought to produce a good action. You see, it isn't connected with a bad habit like eating unhealthy food or trying to diet. In and of itself this good thought has real value and is based in a natural thinking strength of yours where there is no need for a connection (hardwiring) to the bad habit. The FOCUS is not on changing a bad habit but solely on creating a new one.

The neuro-axiological approach allows you to...

• consciously choose to focus to a more useful, 'good', thought process,

• see the real and independent value in creating a good thought habit, and

• anchor your thinking in a natural, strong thought process.

As your brain continues to use this good thought, the bad thought, which is no longer being triggered or exercised, will 'atrophy'. In neuroscience, they call it 'synaptic pruning'...what your brain doesn't need or doesn't use, it prunes away.

In order to change your behavior and change your reality, you MUST stop focusing on CHANGE and start focusing on VALUE!

To change your brain, you must focus on your natural strengths and the real value in the good thought!

v Consider These Things....

• Do you know your natural strengths?

• Can you recognize the thoughts that are causing your mind to distort reality?

• Would you like to find out?

Improving your reality is up to YOU!

• Will you choose to take control of your INNER life (B) and effectively change your outcomes (C)?

• Or, will you continue to allow the your bad thinking habits, your ANTs, determine your reality?

The choice is yours every single day.

v Want to learn more?

A great starting point is the FREE 6 Advisors assessment.

This will clearly show you one of your natural strengths (as well as one of the areas that may be filled with ANTs.)  Give it a try TODAY. There's no obligation to spend any money. It's just an opportunity to take a look inside your mind and become more aware of your INNER life.

Click here to view online.

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