Resolutions and Change

Congratulations!!  You've made it to a New Year! This is the time of year when you may be reminiscing about 2008 and making plans for 2009.  This can be both exciting and frustrating.

Have you made any resolutions? Resolutions are all about change. I like to think of it as being all about GROWTH.  (Change is more difficult and sometimes feared, where as growth is a natural process of living.)

Have you struggled with your resolutions in the past?  If so, we'll take a look at change (growth) together in this newsletter and hopefully, you'll be able to implement the steps needed at the end to realize your potential in 2009.  Let's get started...

v Change is Hard!

I bet you already knew that change was hard but I bet you don't know just how hard it is.

Change or Die

What if that was your choice for 2009? Really. I'm not joking here. What if you had to change or you died? I'm talking about life and death - YOUR life or death. What if a super-smart, trusted authority figure approached you and said you had to make difficult and permanent changes in the way you think and act or your life would end soon, would you be able to do it?

"Yes", you say?

Really? Try again.

"Yes!!", you say with more emphasis as if I didn't hear you the first time.

The truth is you are probably deluding yourself.  You wouldn't change. Not if it was too uncomfortable or difficult.

Don't believe me, [fname]?  Let's look at the statistics:

Let's look at patients with severe heart disease who have undergone coronary bypass surgery, a traumatic and expensive procedure that can cost more than $100,000 if complications arise. About 600,000 people go through this procedure every year in the United States and another 1.3 million patients have angioplasties - all at a cost of about $30 billion. These procedures temporarily relive chest pains but rarely prolong lives or prevent future heart attacks. Many patients could AVOID the need for repeat surgery or repeat chest pain - not to mention changing the course of their disease and adding years to their lives - simply by switching to a healthier lifestyle. Yet, very few do. Their lives are at significantly greater risk unless they exercise and lose weight, and they clearly see the value of changing their behavior. But, after just two years, over 90% of them don’t follow through. Even though they know they have a very bad disease and they know they should change their lifestyle habits, for whatever reason, they don't.

There are people in the legislative and executive branches of the US government who preach about improving healthcare in the US. Yet, for the last 50 years, even with all the advances in technology and medical care, the US is still plagued by the same five issues that it had back in the 1950's. Eighty percent (80%) of the healthcare budget in the US - estimated to be $2.4 TRILLION dollars annually = 15% of our economy = over 50% of the US Federal Budget (minus the bailout money) - is spent on these five issues.

If you could change these 5 problems, you would solve all of the healthcare issues here in the US. That's amazing, isn't it.  So, what are these 5 issues?  They are all behavioral and VERY preventable...

• Too much smoking

• Too much drinking (alcoholic beverages)

• Too much eating (including high calorie beverages)

• Too much stress

• Not enough exercise

Have you ever tried to change any of these things in your life? Are any of these things on your list of changes (again) for 2009?

v Change is Pain!

Pardon me for a minute, but I'm going to talk to you about your brain so that you can understand why change is hard and why it is painful.

When you are using your active brain (prefrontal cortex) to think about new things, it takes a lot of energy. Your brain, however, likes to conserve energy so when you think the same thoughts over and over, your brain moves those thoughts to your habit center (basal ganglia). The habit center functions exceedingly well without conscious thought on any routine activity. Moving thoughts from the working memory to the habit center frees up your working memory for more thinking. It's a fantastic process.

Now, your habit center is operating on automatic - sort of like the transmission in your car. It will shift among its thought patterns of deeply held habits for you - without conscious effort. Trying to now change these deeply held habits requires your brain to work harder. You've now got to apply a lot more attention to your brain and use your prefrontal cortex which is physically and psychologically uncomfortable.  Why?

Because of the second part of the equation... your brain is wired to detect "errors". (That is why it's much easier to criticize than praise.) "Errors" are perceived differences between expectations and actuality or reality. When your brain notices errors, there are intense bursts of energy that come from neural firing. These error signals are generated by a part of the brain called the orbital frontal cortex. Located above the eyeballs, it is closely connected to the brain’s fear circuitry, which resides in a structure called the amygdala. So, when your behavior is contrary to your habit, your brain detects it to be in 'error'. There is a lot of activity going on in your brain - some of it you can actually "feel" in terms of muscle tightness, headaches, pressure behind your eyes and so on. These error messages grab your attention, and they can readily overpower your rational thought.  It takes a strong will to push past these mental activities, but YOU can do it.

v Change is Possible!

So, now you may be asking why I have spread such 'cheerful' news to you in this New Year.  Well, I've told you all the difficulties regarding making changes, but there is also a lot of good news.

YOU CAN CHANGE!!

Yes, it will be hard and yes, it may even be painful - but that doesn't mean it isn't possible.

Of all the abilities that you have been given, the greatest is that of change. Think about it, no matter where you are in your life today, you can change for the better.  And, throughout the year, my newsletters are going to focus on just that... change and growth.

So, where do we start?  All real, lasting change involves changing the way that you think, the way that your brain processes information, expectations, and perceptions. We will work on changing your thinking habits.

Now, many gurus out there emphasize focusing on your end-goal... that big dream that you want to achieve. (Let's say it's losing 30 pounds.) Some will even tell you to put pictures of that dream around your house, on your bathroom mirror, and add a date to it as to when you will achieve that dream or goal. (So, that would mean you should put up pictures of a beach or swimwear or an article of clothing that you'd like to fit into.) DON'T DO IT!! Sure, you have to have a destination in mind, but it doesn't have to be constantly shoved in your face every day reminding you that you aren't there. That can be VERY frustrating (as you have probably already found out). Frustration can be a motivator but for most of the population it is NOT. In fact, for most of the population is does just the opposite.  (Studies have shown that only 1-2% of the population is positively influenced by this 'cognitive dissonance'.)

Instead, try these steps today to get you going in the right direction:

1. Focus on the little things.  Have you ever noticed that when something big catches your attention you stop to stare at it? You see a hot air balloon going across the sky or big machinery building a bridge. That is soooo cool!  It is almost mesmerizing. Well, my friend, that is exactly what can happen if you focus your attention on your big goal. You will stop, you will stare, and in the meantime, you will not be taking any action.  Standing in the middle of the road watching the unusual 'big' event occurring won't get you closer to the event although it may get you run over by a moving vehicle.
   
   So, focus on the little things... what should you do today or tomorrow to get you closer to your goal? If you're trying to lose those 30 pounds, don't focus on 30 pounds, focus on making the right choices for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks... focus on exercising a little more... focus on taking the stairs - even if just for a flight or two - instead of taking the elevator. Do the little things EVERY day.
   
   Focus on the little things... Why not let at least one car per day cut in front of you (instead of racing to block them)?  (Is that 3 seconds really going to matter?)  Why not wipe your nose on a Kleenex instead of your sleeve?  Why not take your dishes to the sink instead of leaving them on the table? Why not put your dirty clothes all the way into the hamper instead of leaving them on the floor? Why not park in the first space you see when you go to the store or mall instead of trying to win the "I parked really, really close" (so somehow I'm better than the person who parked farther away) competition ?

2. Make your decisions ONCE. Do you realize how much time and energy you could save if you just made your decisions once? What does that mean? Well, let's look at the goal above of losing 30 pounds... if you decided today (and decided to decide only once) that tomorrow you were going to limit your caloric intake to a certain number (say, 1200 calories - 300/meal and 3-100 calorie snacks) and eat healthy foods, then tomorrow you when you saw the leftover cookies and candy from the holidays, you wouldn't have to decide whether or not to eat them because you made that decision yesterday. 
   
   Or, let's say that you decide to get up 30 minutes early tomorrow morning to workout.  Now, it's tomorrow morning, since you already made the decision, when your alarm goes off you don't have to re-make it. When the alarm goes off, you just get up (regardless of how you "feel") and follow-through on your decision to work-out.
   
   What would be different in your life if you just made your decisions ONCE? Can you imagine it? You've decided to do the little things, so when someone doesn't hold the elevator for you, you don't get frustrated or angry because you decided that you were going to take the stairs up a couple of flights and get the extra exercise.

3. Learn to FORGIVE yourself and KEEP MOVING in the direction of forming new, good habits.  When did you start believing that you had to be perfect or that mistakes were "bad"? Many of my clients talk about their fear of failure or making mistakes. This year, embrace your mistakes!  John Maxwell wrote an entire book on the subject: "Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success".  You can't reach success without failing.  Did you get that? You can not possibly ever reach success without failing. So, don't fear it - embrace it.
   
   Forgiveness is simply the act of releasing an expectation which is causing you to suffer. Expectations only exist in your mind. Instead of standing still and staring at the "big" mistake, put it into perspective... you can't do anything about it now except learn from it. Shift your expectation to a positive preference or position. This way you won't be frozen but will keep moving in a positive direction... focusing on the little things (that you can control) and making your decisions once.

Og Mandino says, "In truth, the only difference between those who have failed and those who have succeeded lies in the difference of their habits. Good habits are the key to all success. Bad habits are the unlocked door to failure... As a child I was slave to my impulses; now I am slave to my habits, as are all grown men. I have surrendered my free will to the years of accumulated habits and the past deeds of my life have already marked out a path which threatens to imprison my future. My actions are ruled by appetite, passion, prejudice, greed, love, fear, environment, habit, and the worst of these tyrants is habit. Therefore, if I must be a slave to habit let me be a slave to good habits. My bad habits must be destroyed and new furrows prepared for good seed. I will form good habits and become their slave."

Practice these three simple steps throughout 2009 and you will become "a slave to good habits" - habits that you consciously created by doing the right things every day.

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My job and my passion is helping you to do these three steps by teaching you to understand your current thought habits and their impact on your present and future. If you'd like to learn more, please give me a call - it won't cost you anything, but it might just change your life.

You can also try a pain-free 20 minute assessment by clicking the link on the right.  You will get your results via an emailed web-link (I don't have access to them.) You can then talk to me about them in your free 30 minute consultation where you can share as much or as little of your results as you'd like. If you like what you see, then we can talk about the next step.

If you have already tried the 6 Advisors assessment and are ready to drastically improve your world, please check out the group coaching that will be starting in January and February (top right side of this email).  You can also sign-up for personalized, individual coaching with me as well.

I look forward to adding value to your life in 2009!

All the best,

Traci

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