It's that time of year when you hear a lot of good tidings. "Happy Holidays" "Merry Christmas" "Season's Greetings" "Joy to the World" "Happy Hanukkah" And the one good tiding that I want to talk about is "Peace". Do you ever find yourself wishing for more "peace"?
This topic has been on my mind lately because my clients have consistently mentioned it when talking about what the coaching program has meant to them. I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, but listen to what they have to say:
Teresa said, "All I can say is "WOW!" That person on the team who drove me over the edge - 6 Advisors coaching gave me the tools to solve. The beating my head against the wall because nobody would give the project the same priority - 6 Advisors coaching gave me the tools to solve. Those roadblocks that occur again and again in my projects - 6 Advisors coaching gave me the tools to solve."
Then Karla said, "Working with Traci on this program has allowed me to refocus on my purpose and reduce the emotional 'noise' that was preventing me from being successful."
And Szymon said this about the coaching program, "Unexpectedly, I have discovered that no matter what thought you are thinking or emotions you are feeling, they cannot harm your soul. To be able to realize that nothing can harm you is the most empowering result I have experienced. I hope that everyone comes to realize this in some way. Most importantly, my relationship with God has improved and I know He is helping me along the way."
It's through comments and recommendations like this that I realize I'm in the "peace on earth" business. So, now I ask myself how can I, in this time of peace, joy and happiness, help you to find your piece of peace?
What is peace?
The holiday season usually adds stress to our lives. It's supposed to be pleasant and joyful, but it seems that a lot of time is spent worrying about presents or events. Some folks are worried about their football teams making the playoffs (Go Steelers! ;-). While there should be joy there seems to be more stress. There are a lot of holiday stress triggers. Are any of the following causing you anxiety?
- Finances - especially in this economy
- Time and Priority Demands - too many things YOU want to do
- Physical Demands - all the extra shopping and socializing expectations
- Relationships - family misunderstandings and unmet expectations
With all of this stress, how can you find peace? Some folks look for it in the latest and greatest gifts. If you've ever been to an IT consulting firm's Christmas party (as I have), you'd come to believe that peace was found in a Best Buy gift card by the way that they all steal it in the "white elephant" gift exchange. Others try to find peace in an extra slice or four of pie. Still others may look for peace in the adult beverages that are abundant during this celebratory time. It's amazing to me how many people search for peace "out there". They think that peace and joy will be found in the purchase of the best gift. They teach their kids that it's all about the gifts too. How many of "America's Funniest Home Videos" are of ungrateful kids opening gifts they weren't expecting? As if peace, joy and happiness in life could be found in a wrapped cardboard box.
So, what is peace? One definition from the dictionary says peace is "freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquility; serenity."
If that's true then where can you find peace?
Where are you looking?
Where do you look to find your peace? Are you looking for it in your job, in your relationships, in your hobbies? As I write this, I'm reminded of the song "Let There Be Peace On Earth". Do you know that one? The opening lyrics are: "Let there be peace on earth And let it begin with me." So what's that "begin with me" part all about? If it's supposed to begin with you, where do you begin?
I work with clients who are consumed with or at least bothered by discouragement, disappointment, disillusionment, frustration, fatigue, fear, annoyance, anxiousness, or anger. I wouldn't say that there is much peace in those emotions, right? Do any of those currently resonate with you?
So ask yourself, are you looking to find your peace in the things that you do or the things you own or things you've created? If so, why? Isn't there more to this life than that?
Peace only exists in the "NOW"
Those negative emotions from above don't exist if you live in the now. You see the answer is hidden in that little song:
Let peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now.
With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow.
To take each moment
And live each moment
In peace eternally.
Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.
When you choose to live in the now, you realize that peace isn't something tangible. It isn't "extrinsic" in its nature. It's INTRINSIC. It is part of WHO YOU ARE, not what you do or what you have. Our society places so much importance on WHAT you do and WHAT you have that you often lose sight of WHO YOU ARE. As a matter of fact, when I ask folks, "Who do you want to become?" many just sit silently. What kind of question is that? Let me tell you the kind of question that is... It's the kind that will bring you peace as you learn to find the answer!
You see, YOU are unique, priceless and irreplaceable... regardless of what you do, what you own or the value of presents you give or receive. YOU are the bomb! YOU are perfect. Oh, sure, sometimes your actions and behaviors aren't perfect, but that's because you've formed habits based on what others (teachers, parents, bosses, etc.) have told you is important. Yet, inside of you, you know that your title, your salary, your home, your car don't define YOU. Hence, these things cannot bring you peace.
Steps you can take "NOW"
Here's some advice to help you lower the stress this holiday season and throughout 2010...
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Throw out the expectations:
When a thought that is an expectation comes into your mind this holiday season (good or bad), get rid of it! Why would you spend time living in the future or the past when the present is so much more real and enjoyable. Your expectations, when unmet, can cause a lot of grief and emotions. So, instead of focusing on who did or didn't do what, focus on today. If your mind is habitually measuring reality against your imaginary, only-exists-in-your-mind expectations, your disappointment and discouragement with reality is inevitable. YOU are the boss of your expectations. Change them or throw them away.
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Live in the NOW: Do you even realize how much of your life you miss every single day? How much time do you spend worrying? How much time do you spend thinking about what life would be like "if" or "when"? How much time do you spend trying to impress or pretend? None of that occurs in the NOW... in reality. Look around you right now. What do you see that you LOVE? (I'm sitting here in my office typing and I see all kinds of things that remind me of what matters most in my life - of who I want to be. For instance, I love that my hands can type this message as I think these thoughts. See, isn't that simple? You can learn to do it too.)
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Simplify your life: Life isn't nearly as difficult as your mind may be making it out to be. Who cares if someone doesn't like the gift you gave them? It's not the end of the world. So what if you burnt the sauce for the Christmas raviolis? (Yes, I grew up in an Italian family... and Mom didn't burn the sauce it's just an example. See you soon, Mom!) Who cares if a strand of lights is burnt out on the tree or you forgot to send a holiday card to your favorite aunt? No one's life is going to be forever ruined because of any of these things.
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Just BE YOU!!:
Trying to be someone else or live up to others' expectations or perceived expectations is exhausting. Give everyone the true gift of YOU this Christmas. How awesome would that be? Oh, sure, your mind just gave you thoughts on why you can't do that, but those thoughts are probably lies. YOU, the real YOU, the human being, are perfect! There is not a more beautiful you on this planet!! Why don't you just share that gift with me and all of the other people in your life? You'll be surprised at how PEACEFUL life can be when you simply are.
Dr. Robert S. Hartman, the father of axiology, writes:
"Just to Be, in daily life, is [the] highest [level of] maturity. Also it is very powerful for it brings into play the infinity of your intrinsic self. To scramble around in the treadmill of extrinsic value is not only immature, it is inefficient. It shuts up your infinite powers and lets them lie idle. It prevents you from really Living."
You see, PEACE is in LIVING... really living in the NOW. Now is not for sissies! You have to have courage to throw away the thoughts, ideas, expectations and fantasies that are not adding value to your life! Give it a try this holiday season. Let things happen while you make things happen and see how joyful life can be.
Find peace in YOU... YOU are totally awesome! How do I know? Because you are a unique, priceless and irreplaceable human being. I don't care what you did in the past - those are by-gones. I don't care about what your expectations or the expectations of others' say you "should" do or how you "should" behave today. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that YOU, the real YOU, show up today in this world. When you have the courage to do that, not only will the world be better because of it, YOU will be too.
I wish you peace, joy and happiness during this wonderful holiday season and throughout your life.
Would you like more PEACE in your life?
 If so, sign up today for the group coaching classes that will begin in January. Don't miss out! Act now so that you can begin the journey in January. Classes are limited to 12 participants and once those seats are filled, more won't be added. Go to http://www.breakfreeconsulting.com/group-coaching to learn more. Scroll to the bottom of the page to sign up.
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