Breaking Free – October 2013 – Qualities of Skillful Leadership


Breaking Free

Welcome to Break Free Consulting


Vol 8, Issue 1

Qualities of Skillful Leadership

October 2013

One of my favorite motivational and leadership people in the world was a man named Jim Rohn. He had a wonderful message about life that he shared with the world. One of the things that he wrote is:

“If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. Leadership is the ability to attract someone to the gifts, skills, and opportunities you offer as an owner, as a manager, as a parent. I call leadership the great challenge of life. … All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective.”

I love this approach because it is focused on what YOU control. You are in complete control of WHO you become and the quality of the person you become. You are in control of working on yourself to become more effective and influential. You are in control of the “qualities” that you grow and attain as a person. Yet many don’t spend much time focusing on “who” because we are so busy, busy, busy doing the “what”.

Today I’d like you to think about some of the qualities or attributes that you may want to acquire to help you become more effective and more influential to create the greatest value. Isn’t that what leadership is all about? In axiology, this would be about gaining intrinsic (infinitely valuable) attributes in order to create better extrinsic (tangible and measurable) things. This is really about a harmony of sorts. It’s about using your attributes to create value for you and the world. Let’s take a look at a few of the qualities you may want to aspire to:

  1. Learn to be kind but not weak. We must not mistake kindness for weakness. Kindness isn’t weak. Kindness is a certain type of strength. We must be kind enough to tell somebody the truth. We must be kind enough and considerate enough to lay it on the line. We must be kind enough to tell it like it is and not deal in delusion. We must even be kind enough to release a person from their job or role if it is not aligned with their skills and talents or who they want to become. Sometimes firing a person can be the kindest, most value-generating thing you can do. (Remember to do it kindly.)
  2. Learn to be humble but not timid. You can’t add the greatest value by being timid. Some people mistake timidity for humility. Humility is like a sense of awe or a sense of wonder… an awareness of the human soul and spirit. Humility is a grasp of how vast and great the universe is beyond you AND the vastness and greatness of the potential that lies within you. I remember how humbling it was when I was a teenager (read “one who knows all”), I walked into a home for special needs kids immaturely feeling superior as I volunteered my time to help those lesser than me. As I walked into the recreation area I heard beautiful music coming from the piano. As I walked around to see who was playing (believing it to be another volunteer or worker), I was humbled to find a young girl with Downs Syndrome at the keys. (Remember that your brain doesn’t know as much as it wants you to believe that it knows.)
  3. Learn to be proud but not arrogant. It takes pride to weather the storms that come with achieving your ambition. Pride is associated with an understanding of human dignity – the unique, priceless, and irreplaceable value of human life (yes, even your own). Arrogance is characterized by a sense of superiority (see story in #2) and exudes a belief in a hierarchical value of human life and human souls. A human being is mathematically (in axiology) equal to infinity. If you take 100 million away from infinity, you still have infinity. If you take away an arm from a human being, you still have a human being. If you take away their eyes, legs and other physical parts, you still have a human being. (Remember to take pride in your uniqueness, realizing it is no more and no less valuable than the uniqueness of others.)
  4. Learn to be honest but not abrasive. People are going to ask for your honest opinion or you may just volunteer to give it. In any case, be sure to temper your honesty so that it adds value and doesn’t diminish or devalue the person. For instance, if someone asks you how they look, you might not want to be brutally honest and say “I wouldn’t be caught dead in that outfit.” You may want to temper your opinion and add value by saying something like “What look are you going for? If you want to make a professional impression, you might want to lose the feather boa.” There is no need to abrasively devalue a person because you don’t agree with them. (Remember to blend your honesty with the kindness and humility from above.)
  5. Learn to be humorous without being foolish. Being able to laugh at yourself is an important quality of leadership. You want to make sure that you don’t go overboard. It’s okay to be witty, but not silly. It’s okay to be fun, but not foolish. Laughter lowers stress naturally. Forced humor creates more stress and uncomfortable situations. (Remember to learn to laugh at yourself. Just like everything else in life, it takes practice.)
  6. Learn to be authentic not just transparent. Authenticity means that you are real and genuine. You are not manipulative, self-serving, and deceitful. You operate above reproach with the highest of integrity. Do you make mistakes? ABSOLUTELY! And you are able to authentically respond to your missteps. Transparency insinuates that there is a barrier between you and those you lead and that you control what is visible. If you profess transparency and withhold information about, say, an upcoming layoff, this behavior may be held against you. However, if you are authentic, you speak what needs to be spoken to create the greatest value in the world and keep confidential the information that would take away value if inappropriately revealed. (Remember, transparency is something that you do; authentic is something that you ARE.)
  7. Learn to deal in truth not in fear. Work to accurately perceive reality from multiple angles and perspectives. Then, deal in those realities. If you can only see one perspective, ask more questions… “What do you see?’ “How could I look at this differently?” “What if this could happen? Where would we start?” Avoid rationalizing your first perspective or thoughts as it is often your mind creating “rational lies.” (Remember, fear usually occurs from a narrow perspective where our mind is missing part of the picture. This “darkness” is what is causing the fear. The truth will enlighten you.)

Seeing reality accurately from your mind’s perspectives of strength will help you in developing your abilities to be authentic, honest, kind, proud, humble and yes, even humorous. These abilities already lie within you. You can enhance your learning and USING of these skills by using your best and broadest perspectives to achieve this delicate “harmony” and create the greatest value for you, your family, your business or organization and even the world.

We need more leaders that have a heart like you. In your MindWorx 8-week Coaching Program, you will learn how to use the BEST of how your mind already works to create the greatest value. You will learn who to attain the attributes and qualities that you aspire to attain.

When I ask my workshops about the leadership qualities that their favorite leaders possess, I hear responses that include:

  • honest
  • kind
  • authentic
  • compassionate
  • collaborative
  • trustworthy
  • optimistic
  • fair
  • decisive
  • humorous
  • competent
  • proud
  • truthful
  • passionate
  • visionary
  • inspirational
  • encouraging
  • empowering
  • creative
  • self-confident
  • influential

Where do you go to take a class on acquiring these attributes?
The MindWorx 8-week Coaching Program is focused on helping you to acquire these attributes by using the strengths that you already possess!!

PLEASE consider registering for our upcoming unique leadership development programs. Here is what others have said about our programs:

“Break Free Consulting and axiology coaching program have made a tremendous impact on my life. Traci was the perfect person to deliver the program and kept me on track the whole way – and gave me a good push to keep the ball rolling. I have gone through many coaching programs and approaches but this program was the only one that tied it all together and gave me the framework to accept things in life and business and the framework to plan my future so that it will be what I really want it to be.”

– Michael Noc, Financial Advisor at Raymond James Financial Inc., Port Moody, BC Canada

“I wanted to reach out and THANK YOU for the time we have spent together! 
The results achieved by following your process and system helped me in ALL areas of my personal and business life. You gave me real world concepts and tools to deal with my kids, spouse and clients. As you know I believed so much in the process I referred several of my clients and family members to participate in your coaching process.
I highly recommend people take the time to complete your online assessment and start working with you NOW!

– Kyle Oberndorf, Owner/Coach, Vancouver, BC Canada

“The MindWorx Coaching has provided me with long lasting skills to improve my relationships and to improve my effectiveness in my daily life. Becoming aware of how our thoughts limit our success in life was very eye opening. after a few weeks of coaching, I saw results in my work relationships. A great course for anyone who wants to improve their ability to work with others and their success in life.”

– Mitch Putnam, Division Engineering Manager at Energy Transfer, Kansas City, MO

“Traci, you have worked a miracle! I’ve gone from an overly aggressive, scared, and fairly shy person, to a compassionate, caring, and empathic listener, now capable to speak to any size of audience. As my “Be” coach, you’ve done an incredible feat to help me get through my challenges, so now I am very capable of truly connecting with people during my sales cycle and during coaching sessions, leading me to have an excellent business in less than one year!

-Doug Winnie, Award Winning Certified Executive & Business Coach, Houston, TX

Doug Winnie

Don’t put off BECOMING the person and the leader that you aspire to become.
Coaching groups are starting up again soon. Sign up today!! You have nothing to lose and a lot to gain.


Connect with me!
Facebook       LinkedIn       Twitter       YouTube      

 I would love to hear what you think about this edition of Breaking Free.  Please leave your comments below.