Breaking Free – December 2013 – Be Where You Are


Breaking Free

Welcome to Break Free Consulting


Vol 8, Issue 3

Be Where You Are

December 2013

Occassionally on Wednesday evenings, I will meet my friends at McGonigel’s Mucky Duck in Houston, TX to take in some live music. It’s usually a terrific musician/singer named Patrice Pike who is there. A couple of weeks ago she sang a song that had the lyrics:

Be where you are
Love what you’re doing
Hold your head up high…

My first thought was “Of course, you’re going to be where you are. Where else could you be?” Now, I’m one of those people who, when I hear a question, even from myself, I try to answer it. It’s at this moment that I realized that by entertaining this question from my own mind, I was no longer at the Mucky Duck. I was somewhere else in my mind.

Where do you go?

How many times are you in a meeting and not really listening? Or better yet, what about those dreaded tele-conference calls? Have you ever asked someone to repeat a question to you because you weren’t really there? What were you doing? I’ve known people to reply to emails, text others in the meeting with jokes, plan what they are going to do in the evening or what they have to get done before the next meeting. Where do you go? What is your brain focusing you on? Where do your thoughts take you?

How can you “love what you’re doing” if you’re not being where you are?

In the VQ Profile assessment, there are 2 key measurements that pertain to our mental processing and “being where you are.”

One of the 36 measurements in the VQ Profile is entitled “Being at Peace“. Almost 90% of the last 1,100 folks who have taken the assessment have had this valuing habit be a low-VQ or limited perspective for them. What that means is almost 90% of the people may have a difficult time being where they are because their mind is always racing about what they should be doing, what they need to do next, how they are going to do what they have to do later, etc. You get the picture.

The second measurement is entitled “Exploring Possibilities.” For this measurement a whopping 98% of those who have completed their VQ Profile in 2013 have had this valuing habit be measured as a challenge. For these folks, their mind is always racing focusing on how to improve things and what others should be doing. From this perspective their view is often limited by their experiences and lack of attention to other ideas and concepts.

There’s a good chance that you might fall into one of those “low-VQs” and struggle with being where you are.

The Power of Now

So, how do you stop the madness? 🙂 Being where you are is the first step.

In Eckhart Tolle’s book entitled “The Power of Now”, he discusses how:

“The compulsive thinker, which means almost everyone, lives in a state of apparent separateness.”

That incessant mental noise prevents you from being in the moment… which by the way is the only place where you can find joy and peace.

Attuning to Your World

Last month we discussed the skill of Attuning to Others. For this upcoming holilday season, I’d like to encourage you to attune to yourself. Here are a few steps to help you do that.

  1. Learn to quiet your mind. I know, I know. That’s easier said than done. So let me give you a quick tip that I have found helpful. Sit quietly and practice saying to yourself “I wonder what my next thought will be.” Then just wait. Sometimes the stillness will last only a millisecond. Congratulate yourself!! Recognizing the lack of stillness is the ONLY way you can get back on track. Ask yourself again, “I wonder what my NEXT thought will be.” Then simply wait.
  2. Practice quieting your mind. One of the challenges with low VQs of Being at Peace and Exploring Possibilities is that the brain wants reality to match its expectations. When reality doesn’t match your brain’s expectations, your brain will tell you that reality is wrong and keep you focused on its expectations thus keeping you from being where you are. Continue practicing the above approach for a minute or two a couple times every day. This will help you to “be where you are.”
  3. “Love what you’re doing” by staying present. Now, “love” in this case doesn’t mean being affectionate; it means agape love which is a heightened level of awareness of everything that is going on around you. You don’t even have to like what you’re doing to love what you’re doing. When you stay present, you will be able to increase your awareness of the goodness that is around you.
  4. “Hold your head up high” from your heightened level of awareness. Your body and mind will respond better if you simply follow grandma’s advice and sit up straight. Hold your head up; push your chest out. From here you will be able to see the forest through the Christmas trees. You will be able to see the unique creativity through the goofy ideas. You will be able to see the human souls through the annoying behaviors.

Peace on Earth

During this holiday season, give folks around you the gift of your presence. It is worth far more than the present you give them as a gift.

Be where you are
Love what you’re doing
Hold your head up high…

From this perspective, the trivial matters will take their proper perspective and you can find your peace and bring peace to those around you.

May you have a wonderful Christmas and holiday season.
May you celebrate and exchange the intrinsic gifts of life.
May you carry your presence long into a Happy 2014!!

Connect with me!
Facebook       LinkedIn       Twitter       YouTube      

 I would love to hear what you think about this edition of Breaking Free.  Please leave your comments below.